Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Stay with me!

So on Sunday my sugar daddy tried to leave me. He sent me a text message out of the blue: "I need you to know I love my wife." I somehow new this would come. I asked him what he was really trying to tell me. He basically told me that he didn't think what we were doing was right and that he wanted to make things right in his marriage. I really wasn't buying it. Something else was up. Either he doesn't have the funds or he wanted/found someone better. Before today I wasn't sure. We went back and forth on the issue. We had some pretty heated exchanges. He wondered if I was going to black mail him or just go out and tell his family. I told him it was okay to end it, but then changed my mind twice. He pretty much made an agreement with me and I wasn't going to let him off easy. I agreed to be intimate with him because he said he would give a certain amount monthly. He can't go back on his end of the deal after a week and get off scott free. He asked me what I wanted him to do. I asked him to come over today. We had planned to meet today anyway b/f he had his tantrum about his marriage.

I was preparing for my class when he knocked on my apartment door. I let him in and before I could say hello he was undoing his tie and walking toward my bedroom. I asked him where he thought he was going. He asked "Are we going to do this?" He seemed angry and I didn't want him to be mad at me if we were going to have sex. "My room is a mess.", I stalled. "I don't care about your room." I walked in behind him. I kept my distance and stared at him as he unbuttoned his shirt. "What?" he stopped undressing "Are you mad?" I asked looking at him over my shades. "What do you want to do?" he asked. "I think we should talk." I said reluctantly. "You asked me over here to talk? We could have talked on the phone. I didn't drive all the way over here to talk." he looked me up and down. "You're mad. I don't want to do anything if your gonna be mad at me." "Tell me what you want to do then!" he threw his hands up. "Are you gonna hurt me?" I wasn't sure if he was mad enough to attack me, especially if he felt I might tell on him. "No babygirl. Come here." his voice became soft as he reached around my waste, "I won't bite you." He drew me against his body and admired my curves in the mirror. I felt his erection against my thigh. "I'm not gonna hurt you. I want you. I know you can feel I want you." I layed my head against his shoulder and listened intently. "I want you, but it's just not right. It's not right.", he pulled back to look in my eyes. We began to kiss. Then the climate changed.

He bit passionately into my neck as he stroked my back, my butt and my thighs. He pulled my jeans off and reached underneath my panties to get his fingers wet. I kicked off my jeans and he slipped out of his clothes. He laid on the mattress. I landed on top of him. He unhooked my bra and caressed my breast. He pulled down his boxers and motioned for me to give him head. "Do it until I come." He laced his fingers through my hair and guided my head into the pace he wanted. He let go and enjoyed his show. "I want to be inside you so bad. Where's that condom?" It was right next to my leg on the floor I gave it to him. He put it on and I started riding him. But he took over and started pounding into me. "Is it mine? Is it mine?", he spanked my ass. I couldn't help but say yes, because he was owning it. He stopped and let me work my hips a bit. "Do reverse cowgirl. That's my favorite." He repositioned himself long ways on the mattress. I turned around. He pulled my ankles, my knees dropped down, then he placed his hand on my hips, "Grab my legs." I wrapped my hands around his shins. I found a good rhythm that he liked. He pulled me backward. I arched my back and he supported me by my arms. I rode him like that until he came. It was great. Afterward we engaged in what I guess is his post-sex ritual. I licked his nipples while he masturbated. Whatever gets him off, I guess.

He began ruminating over everything immediately. "Jesus. I'm never gonna do what's right." I tried to reassure him. I told him it was okay if he didn't want to do this anymore. I felt pretty sorry for him. We had a short discussion about sin and salvation. On which I consider myself a mini expert since I spent the past 4 years of my life reading as much as I could on it. He told me he had a lot of passion for me. After he dressed he grabbed the DVD he had rented for me. He looked in his wallet. Apparently there was no money there cause he looked quite guilty. I didn't say anything. I thought if maybe I didn't ask for money he would see me as less of a gold digger and more as someone he should give money too. Maybe he will think that I like him for him and not his money. I don't know. Maybe it will bite me in the butt.

The truth is I do like him. I think if he weren't married we would date and talk for real. He's this handsome, smart, powerful older attorney and I'm this cute, intelligent, sweet young student. It's such a sexy combination. After being with someone who couldn't quite decide what he really wanted to do with his life. It's nice to be around someone who is focused and accomplished. I just wish he was more focused on me. Later this evening he told me he couldn't stop thinking about me and that he was going to think about what he wanted to do. We agreed to meet up again Tuesday. We'll see if he goes through with it. Part of me feels like all this drama is a turn on for him: Wanting the young woman he shouldn't have. Having the young woman he wants. The young woman wanting him, but unsure. Assuring her that he is what she wants. Risking his marriage to be with that young woman. Maybe that is what he really wants. A soap opera life with passionate sex.

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