Monday, September 17, 2007

Come Back To Me

Sooooo I called Sug on Friday. He didn't answer, but then called right back like "Hello this is Mr. so and so. I received a call from this number. I was like "Did you erase my number from your phone? You don't know who I am anymore?" He said, "But I have an appointment." I didn't know what he was talking about, but I figured he was trying to cover up. I said, "Okay I see you are busy so I'll call later." He mumbled something and then hung up. Why did he call back? I don't know. Maybe he did erase my number, but no he would still recognize it. I believe or he would have just said, "You have the wrong number." So I feel like by making fake conversation he was trying to appease me in some way. Show that he hadn't forgotten about me, but that he was just busy. I miss him. I want him. I'm getting a new bed and I want him to lay next to me in it.

Today I asked Radio about marriage: Did he want to get married one day? Have his views about marriage changed since he was younger? He said he felt like he was being interviewed or interrogated. I was like just answer dude. He said he thought he would marry his baby mama (he has an 11 year old daughter). In most of his relationships he thought the girl was the one, but not so much anymore. He said he has felt bitterness toward some of the women he's dated and it's made him feel different about relationships. He said the way I feel about wanting to be a single mom is probably a result of my recent break up with the guy I thought I would marry. I don't know. Maybe I will change with time. I mean I say I'm okay with the break up. I get over guys pretty quickly, but I think I don't react to break ups like other women. My sister has commented on this in the past. Honestly I think it's because I spend a good amount of time contemplating the break up so that by the time I actually break up with the guy I have come to terms with it. But maybe this getting a sugar daddy and going to see a guy in another state is my way of acting out. I don't know really. All I know is that I am having a good time. It's a little frustrating but I don't mind not having a normal relationship or dating like women my age. I like being different.

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