Sunday, September 23, 2007


I hate men today. All of them. From the classmate, who is too aloof to even ask me out to Flow, who is putting wood floors in a house instead of sitting next to me to Sug who I don't even have to say anything about. Men are the worst. Sorry.

I guess I should be happy that Flow is being professional and not sitting in someones home on the cell phone while he's working or dropping a job to see me. I should be happy he even has a job.

I was watching HipHop Wives on E! and I started thinking about my ex. One of my pet peeves about him is that he was always strapped for cash. It was a big deal to even go out to eat, cause he rarely ever had money. I never complained. I wasn't with him because of money. He was in school, like me. But he would go out and buy stuff like water shoes or DVDs or CD's of bad music no one has heard of. That bothered me. And he had this all or none attitude. He couldn't take me on a trip and ask me to marry him, so he just asked me in my parents living room while we were watching Jay Leno. No kneeling, no ring, no romantic speech, just, "Marry me, I'm serious." The fact that he had to say "I'm serious" tells you how much of a joke it was. I said yes, but I really wanted to say "Are you kidding me? No you gotta be kidding me?" We were engaged for like half of our relationship, maybe more. But he didn't have money and neither did I and quite frankly we probably weren't meant to get married anyway. I had set a date of July 7 2007, but we broke up before that. He also could never settle on any one thing to do. Since 21 he had changed his career goals so many times. I had to think about this when I was deciding to break up with him. Why couldn't he stay focused? He would send me emails about hotel management jobs in China. What the hell? Let's try being a hotel clerk in America first, then maybe manager in China. Even after I talked to him about it, it didn't get much better. It would frustrate me and I had to get out of there.

Flow is focused. He has money. He's really fine. He's really nice. We have some superficial things in common. And he supposedly likes me. I'm still not sure about that. Today I was supposed to find out, but I'll have to wait a little longer. Or maybe I have my answer.

I hate men. I hate men!

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