Thursday, December 27, 2007

Contemplating (PC Part III)

I went to Chulo's house on Christmas night. We had been texting eachother all day and finally I called him around 8pm and he anwered. He went into this story about his girlfriend. They had a huge blow up and he kicked her out. He asked me to come over and make him feel better. So I did and I brought him a plate of food.

His house is old, but he's remodeling. His studio looks much better than the rest. His girlfriend was also completing her studio there. He'd bought her some nice equipment. He has 5 pitt bulls that live inside and two that stay outside. I'm scared of dogs, but my days of watching Cesar Milan on the dog whisperer have helped me to be more calm around them. Plus Chulo wasn't having any of my scaredy cat behavior. He was like "Come on Mami, don't act that way. " So I had to man up.

We had a nice night and he let me experience the studio. It was really nice.

I can't help but want to take that girl's spot, but I have a feeling he's gonna take her back in. He'll probably marry her and still try to fuck me. He actually asked me about that while we were making love. He said "Can I still have you even if I get married." I thought to myself, why am I always the other woman. He's always playing around about marrying me, but all of a sudden I'm not even in the running. It's ridiculous. But I told him I would. Then I told him if I get married I'm gonna be faithful to my husband, so things wouldn't continue the other way around. He seemed okay with that.

But like I said I want him to drop her. She's no good for him. She's a headache for him and he's really stressed out behind her. I make him feel better, he wouldn't even have any hassle with me. He could keep the studio he made for her cause I would use it for myself. I'd cook for him and keep things clean, I'd even help him remodel. I would love to have someone to come home to and clean up for and make love to. I would love to listen to his music all day long and help him compose beats. I think he would like having me around. I'd have his kid even. Later in life of course, but I'd go half on a baby with him. He's a good guy. I really like him.

I hope that we can really actually be in a real relationship. I want to have his heart for real. Not just to help him get through this time, but to help him get through life. We'll see how it goes though. He says he loves me, but he may just be desperate to feel something for someone. Either way it will all work out. I know.

Flow's wife called me again. I'm sure she found out that he and I were still seeing each other after she talked to me. Well I didn't answer and hopefully she drops it. I don't want to deal with them anymore.

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