Sunday, January 27, 2008

Let it Flow

Flow's friend called me from Flow's phone yesterday. I thought it was Flow at first, but then he was like "This is 'Flow's' friend from New York." I was dissapointed and wondering why the hell he was calling me from Flow's phone. He said he was using Flow's phone while down here and saw my text messages. I had sent him two messages telling him that he hasn't been there for me and I needed him cause I was sad. The friend was like "I don't want you to be sad. I'll pay for a hotel for you and bring Flow there to see you." He was going to surprise him. Said he just wanted to help us try to work things out and get back together. I was skeptical. I mean Flow hadn't been calling me or answering my phone calls, so I couldn't see how his friend would get him to see me. Also I feared his friend was going to try to take advantage of me.

I got down there and waited and waited and waited like I always do for Flow. While waiting, I got to thinking: This was all a plot to get me to drive down here. Flow has probably been in on it the whole time. He knew I wouldn't drive all the way down there unless he could pull off a stunt like this. Damn it! Oh well I really did want to see him, since I'd been feeling so down and Papi Chulo was acting like I just couldn't do it for him anymore. I know Flow will enjoy me. He loves everything I do. I'll feel wanted and needed when I'm with him.

So when he finally got there I was really happy to see him. We hugged and kissed, but we didn't talk much. He stripped of my clothes then his. We started making love. And in the middle we just held each other as our bodies connected in the most intimate way. No words just touching and looking in each others' eyes. Listening with our souls. That's how making love should always be. However, when we started getting into it again He stopped to go pee. I waited on the bed. Suddenly I heard him throwing up. I rushed over to the bathroom. I was like Oh God I made him sick. But he said he had eaten some Mexican food that was apparently not agreeing with him. Flow's had food poisoning, plus he smokes and drinks, so I was scared for him. I got him a cold damp cloth and put it on his neck as he continued to barf. Then I left him to relief himself from the other end. I started to put on my clothes and I asked him if he needed me to go to the store to get him something. He said no and told me to take my clothes back off and go lay in the bed. So I did and waited for him to get back in with me. When he got back we finished our love making session. Then he had to leave and go to a bachelor party. There's always something for him to do afterward.

He said he'd be back, but of course he never came back. And of course he hasn't called me today. I suppose he won't call all week. I suppose I'll be alone for a while. Which I guess is okay since I have so much work to do, that I've been avoiding.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Update, Project Runway style

Flow, You are out!

Sugar Daddy, You are the winner! You may leave the Runway.

Sug is back in effect. He says he's sorry he let me go. He's just lonely as all get up. He gave me a little cash yesterday. I can deal with that.

Flow doesn't care about me. He claims his 3 cars aren't running right, so he can't come see me. I guess this is when I am supposed to jump in my little truck and go down there to see him. Not happening. He is so ghetto and run down. I can't stand him anymore. If you really want me in your life, then get it together and show me. I won't be calling him anymore.

Auf Wiedersehen!

Monday, January 14, 2008


maybe I won't rest on the men for as long as I thought.

So I was sitting at home today, going over some stuff for my 2pm class, when my phone rang. And guess who it was. Flow! I had thought about calling him on Sunday when I was all upset about XXXXX, but I didn't. I was surprised to hear from him. I thought he was still mad at me, but he's not. Actually he's probably just lonely, but so am I. We had a nice talk and we're gonna try this thing again. He says he's gonna be more open and honest with me, but I doubt it. I should probably just tell him I'm not interested, but the problem is that I am interested. I like some aspects of the relationship we had. I was his hot little mama and he was my handsome older man. That is something I missed with XXXXXXX. I was apparently just another girl that comes a dime a dozen and he was really bossy in bed, which got worse that last week we were together. He had to have control of every moment. I couldn't just be free, I had to do it his way. "Move like this, kiss like this, leg here, knee there, eyes front, shoulders back" It was like learning to do the waltz. Made me feel awkward. And he would always go way too deep. Even though I would tell him and he'd adjust it, he'd eventually go right back to it. And then he'd complain "The first time was the best." Um yeah, cuase you were actually endearing and allowed me to move on my own volition. But whatever we won't be doing that again. Flow never complained and he always loves it. And I enjoy loving him, so we're gonna be cool.