Monday, January 14, 2008


maybe I won't rest on the men for as long as I thought.

So I was sitting at home today, going over some stuff for my 2pm class, when my phone rang. And guess who it was. Flow! I had thought about calling him on Sunday when I was all upset about XXXXX, but I didn't. I was surprised to hear from him. I thought he was still mad at me, but he's not. Actually he's probably just lonely, but so am I. We had a nice talk and we're gonna try this thing again. He says he's gonna be more open and honest with me, but I doubt it. I should probably just tell him I'm not interested, but the problem is that I am interested. I like some aspects of the relationship we had. I was his hot little mama and he was my handsome older man. That is something I missed with XXXXXXX. I was apparently just another girl that comes a dime a dozen and he was really bossy in bed, which got worse that last week we were together. He had to have control of every moment. I couldn't just be free, I had to do it his way. "Move like this, kiss like this, leg here, knee there, eyes front, shoulders back" It was like learning to do the waltz. Made me feel awkward. And he would always go way too deep. Even though I would tell him and he'd adjust it, he'd eventually go right back to it. And then he'd complain "The first time was the best." Um yeah, cuase you were actually endearing and allowed me to move on my own volition. But whatever we won't be doing that again. Flow never complained and he always loves it. And I enjoy loving him, so we're gonna be cool.

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