I was watching making the band 4 the other night. The girls of Danity Kane were checking out the myspace page of one of the members of the boy band, i forget their name. It happen to be one that I like and saw at the airport in Pittsburgh when I hooked up with Radio back in September. I didn't say anything to him. He was on the phone the whole time. His friend and I think band mate smiled at me and said Hi. I said "Hey!". Then he started singing quietly. I was like okay I didn't ask you to sing. He obviously wanted me to come over and freak out like Oh my God! But I'm not the groupie type. I mean I might freak out from a far like when I saw Pharrell at a mall back home. But I would never go up like "Can I have your autograph? I love you!!!" I've only asked for an autograph from one celebrity and that's my cousin who's a famous female rapper. I felt real stupid cause my dad was like "We're so proud of you. Keep up the good work." And I came in like "Hey cuz can I get your autograph." Real corny. I know. I still have it somewhere.
Anyway, I'm mentioning the Danity Kane myspace search because it made me feel a little justified. I already know that we females will look up things about men before we get too involved with them. Having it on television just made me feel like alright, this is not out of the ordinary. It's being smart and ignoring any bad signs would be stupid.
I was talking to Curve yesterday. I told him about the situation with dude. He told me I needed to get him outta my system. He said I was stalking a bit by monitoring the myspace comments, but he said it's normal for the female sex to act that way. So I'm trying to get him outta my system and continuing to blog is my way of doing that. He told me that I need to start dating on my level. He's right, but unfortunately there aren't that many available men of color on my level. That's the plight of the highly educated black woman. A professor at my alma mater told us black women that most of us would end up marrying "below ourselves" cause there aren't enough black men getting degrees, let alone advanced degrees. Of course there are plenty of intelligent black men with plenty of integrity who don't have degrees. But most aren't even available. There are a few available blachelors in my program but most are gay or unattractive and the one fine one is currently living in another dimension from the rest of the human race, a place to which i do not want to venture. So yeah, I'm kinda left looking elsewhere. Too bad Curve is taken. He would be perfect for me. Super smart, got bank, insightful, honest, and he always has my back when I need him. He knows me better than any man on this earth. We're soulmates, but not life mates. We'll always love each other, though, regardless.
I finished the introduction to my master's paper. It's dificult transitioning from academic writing to blogging and then back. I forget how to spell words and avoid run on sentences. But blogging helps me to reflect and dump my thoughts, so I can concentrate on school. I probably won't have time for blogging when I have to go back into 4th year and start rotations again (most of which will be OB/GYN ie; 6 am rounding and no sleep). But at least I won't have to write anymore papers. I'm going to try to throw some Path electives in, cause I'm still considering being a forensic pathologist. I love anatomy and microscopy, teaching, and being a know it all and solving mysteries, and that's what pathologists do. I could be a gynocological oncologist, that's kinda mixing the two a bit. I don't know I have a few more months to decide. Daunting! I know!
Flow called me this morning. It was a pleasant surprise. I miss him. I wish he was closer. He still wants to go to Vegas. He said he applied for a new job to get him over a hump in his business. He had a few clients cancel on him. I hope he gets the job. I don't know why, but Flow decided to tell me a story about how he almost shot his wife about a month ago. Strange I know. He said she was yelling and going off at the mouth about me. So he pulled out his gun and was gonna shoot her but stopped himself. Maybe that's what she was calling me about at the end of December. Scary stuff. He told me that she was cheating on him about 5 years ago with her best friends brother. After that he decided he wouldn't be faithful to her anymore. I'm glad Flow shared these things with me. I hope he and I can get closer. I also hope he doesn't shoot me! LOL! I know he's not good for me, but I really do like him. My body loves him. I told him about what I did, even after the gun story. But Flow is used to me doing impulsive stuff. He's gotten bitten twice by me, but he knows why I did it and he's forgiven me as far as i can tell. He's sticking around, so I didn't hurt him that bad.
Woo. Blogging is my therapy and I'm sorry I compromised it. I needed to get all these thoughts out on canvas. I feel better now... Going baack to the world of Academia until next time...I bid you Adieu