Monday, February 25, 2008
Stigmatization of Papi
Papi has a "girlfriend". (Don't ask how I know) I put it in quotes because, well a "girlfriend" to Papi is any girl that let's him fuck her and another broad, but doesn't fuck anybody else. Hence why I couldn't be his "girlfriend". This one is a Khia look alike. A few steps up from his #1 fan who snitched on me. Well I think this will last a good month and that's an over estimate.
I no longer miss him. Yeah!!! I don't know if it was him getting a "girlfriend" or...who am I kidding? That's exactly why. Now that he's "taken" again, I just see that he's not really much of a catch. Strange logic, I know, but I guess the fact that he suddenly wifed up some myspace chick who lives hundreds of miles away makes me think he really doesn't care. He just wants to be with someone, anyone who won't mind his cheating heart. He's not ready to really build and support a solid relationship.
I was thinking. Papi acted like he was such a big deal. He told me he dated Buffy the Body. I wondered why Buffy the Body would date him. I thought maybe they went to high school together or something, but maybe Papi is kind of a big deal, a bit of a celebrity. Now, should I feel privledged to have breathed the same air as him? He probably feels that way and his groupies obviously feel that way. But me? I don't judge people on their reputation among the masses, but on how they come across to me. I had an attending who is a well known Cardiologist. He was really a big deal. But he definitely had a boys club type mentality. He looked out for and interacted with the male residents and students more than us females. I couldn't respect him once I realized this. I was no longer impressed by his extensive resume and reduced him to a sexist jerk.
One of my professors was talking about the stigmatization of HIV infected women in Vietnamese society. She asked if it was the same in America. I initially thought that was the case for parts of American society other than the one in which my classmates and I live and work. I thought about how Papi Chulo said to me "If a man cheats, he can just take a shower and it's like nothing happened, but a woman? If she has sex with a man, she can wash all she wants but she'll never be the same." I bet Flow feels the same way. Flow and Papi are the type of men that don't want their women (pluralize the plural) fucking anybody else. They think this is protecting them, when in actuality they are putting themselves at more risk by having multiple partners. So according to this philosophy women are always to blame for spreading STIs. If this were true then women wouldn't even get infected. If a shower could stop the spread of STI's, STI prevention lectures would go like this: "Men, take a shower after sex. Women, douche, then douche again." But it's doesn't work that way, clearly.
Now how do we get men (and women) to stop stigmatizing and blaming women. Some say individual cognitive and behavior change, but the truth is this is a much larger problem. Parker and Aggleton stated in their paper "HIV and AIDS-related stigma and discrimination: a conceptual framework and implications for action" (Social Science & Medicine 57(2003)13-24), stigmatizations is "a process linked to competition for power and the legitimization of social hierarchy and inequality. It's like racism, in that in order for certain groups to have power and domination of other groups, those certain groups must make the others feel inferior and also make themselves feel superior. This is done by perpetuating ideologies that may not be true, like the one mentioned above. So how do we fix it? Changes at the Policy level seem to help: laws that prohibit certain types of discrimination. The community level is useful: programs and media campaigns that educate and bring about awareness among the masses. But honestly inequality and hierarchies are an inherent part of any society and I believe it boils down to the way people think. So until we can find an cost-effective/individual-centered way to get everyone cognitive behavioral therapy, stigmatization, discrimination, sexism, racism, etc will always be at play in some way..
Anyway, I'm glad Papi has a "girlfriend". Honestly, I hope they stay together and that he can be faithful to her. Keep him off the streets and out of other women's sheets.