Saturday, March 29, 2008

Somebody call the paramedics, I'm smitten

Something strange has happened. I didn't see it coming. I feel like Janet Jackson in her new song "Luv". "Somebody call the paramedics, cuase he hit me with his love!" I spent 6 hours talking to Skittles on the phone Thurday night, from 1am to 7am. And we didn't even talk about sex the whole time. I learned alot about him. We have similar pasts. He used to be a devout Muslim. I used to be Holiness. Okay, that's the only thing we have in common actually. But nonetheless, I really like him and he feels the same about me.

How did this happened? It's so strange because I hadn't talked to Skittles in a couple weeks. I thought he'd lost interest because he stopped returning my calls. I emailed him a couple of times and he only wrote back once: "Hey, how r u?" The other day I posted to his guestbook on his myspace page: "You don't miss me yet?! LOL!" He sent me an email and then called me from his new number. He was like "I thought you didn't want to talk to me anymore." I think he got involved with someone for a minute and just doesn't want to tell me. Now he's back and he seems to be serious about me. He says he likes my personality. In your face, Purtty Boi!

I feel bad, because Flip and I were getting to know each other too. We were having a nice time, but the sparks weren't there. I could have grown to like him though. He is a wonderful guy and any woman would be lucky to have him. That's the beginning of the speech I'll have to give him. I may not have to. I haven't talked to him since Monday. I had my phone off all day Tuesday. He had called and left a message. I called him Wednesday, but his phone was off. I left a message, but he hasn't called me back. So maybe he's made his decision already. Mmm?

Undercover called me today. I told him I was busy with school work. We'll hang again, but I feel akward about last weekend. If this thing with Skittle jumps off then we won't be doing that anymore.

Purtty Boi is back in NY. He said he'd be back in 3 weeks or so. I emailed him to check in on him. He called me a couple of days before he left and invited me to his house for barbeque and to drop off his DVDs. Then he was like, "If your lucky, you can have one last piece of me before I leave." Lucky Me! I just laughed it off. I was still mad about his commentary on my personlaity last weekend. He said he'd call me back, but he didn't call me for another few hours. I asked him if he was coming to get his DVDs. He was like, "Let me ask my aunt to go" He only has a learner's permit so someone with a license has to drive with him. Then he sat on the phone just talking about nothing. I asked about him future baby mama. He said she'd gotten an ultra-sound that day and she told him the baby looked like a peanut. A peanut? That's the best she could do? The fetus has a face, a heart and appendages and all she could say is it looked like a peanut. I asked when the due date is. He snapped, "7 months from now!" I was thinking I can count. So she's been to the OB and had an ultrasound? She should have an actualy Due Date! Not a guesstimation. Then he said,"Let me call you back." I was like, "Just come on and get your DVDs". "I will but I'ma call you back." He didn't call. He showed up about 15 minutes later. "Hurry up my aunt's in the car! Hey you got company? Why are you dressed up?" First off I wasn't dressed up. I had on a jean skirt, a long sleeved black t-shirt, and a head wrap. Second why does he always have to accuse me of having a dude over. Anyway, I was like, "You looked pretty dressed up." He had on a sweater and khakis. I wonder if thats what he wore, while he was barbequing. We exchanged movies and said goodbye. No kisses, no hugs.

What will I do about Das Weiner? He still wants to come out here at the end of April. I still want him to cause I haven't seen him in so long.

Well, that's all. It looks like Skittles might take me off the market for a minute or maybe longer. It will be a long distance relationship, which I've done before and can handle. He says he's coming to see me next week. We'll see. Hopefully he's not Flow part III, always making promises. I believe he's genuine though. I feel it.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

No Air

Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown - No Air [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]

Why do people want to suffocate me this week? Physically and emotionally, they seem to want to end my life by leaving me with no air to breath. The following is a list of ways people have tried to kill me softly.

1. Suffocating me with luv
Flip came back in town Thursday night and the first thing he wanted to do was see me. He called and said, "I'll pay for your gas if you come see me." Way to devalue yourself. I was more than happy to go out. I was feeling down and needed some TLC. So I asked for direction and he told me to get on this particular highway, until I reached a certain exit and said to call him when I get there. So I called him to let him know I was on my way, but he wouldn't get off the phone with me. I don't really like to talk while I drive, but I stayed on. I drove out about 20 minutes and I didn't reach the exit. So I asked him if I was still going the right way. He said "Wait let me get a map?" What the crap? What do you need a map for? This is your freaking house and your freaking side of town. How do you not know how to get to your own house? I started calling out exits. "You went to far turn around and get on this other highway.", he corrected his previous directions. I was about to go off, "Wait a minute? You didn't mention that route before. You said get on this highway and that would lead me straight there." "Oh aren't those two highways the same?", he asked. "No, if they were, I would be at your house right now. Wouldn't I?", I tried not to sound like a parent reprimanding her child. "I need to go. I'll call you back when I get on the other route okay?" He let me go finally, but called me back 2 minutes later, "Hey get on this other highway and I'm exit 18. It's only 20 exits." "I passed that highway way back! Let me call you back okay?", I hung up and cursed him out via my windshield. He'd given me 3 different ways to his house. And the last and supposedly correct way was closer to my home than the others. I'd driven out about 15 miles farther than I needed to, because this fool doesn't know how to give directions. I finally arrived at his home, a cute little ranch on a corner in a nice suburban neighborhood. He came outside and got in my truck.

Flip looked even cuter than before, and he has actually surpassed Jay-Z a bit in the looks department. It think it was because his stache was recently lined up. I don't know. We went to Applebee's. It's been my favorite restaurant since I was 14. Actually, I don't like it that much, but on my 14th birthday, the waiter made a rose out of a napkin. From then on, I went there on my B-day every year. Flip made me order steak. I'm not a big steak person, but I obliged him. He let me order him an alcoholic drink even though he doesn't drink often. It hit him after like 3 sips. What a novice! He was like, "It's better drinking with a female." Apparently his guy friends get touchy feelly when they drink. Hmmm? Suspect. Anyway, we had a nice time together, laughing and joking around.

Afterward, we went back to his house and sat in the driveway. He grabbed my hand and started rubbing it. I felt awkward. His hands are rough, but he has a gentle touch. "Your hands are so soft. It's like you never did a days hard work in your life." Well, I didn't grow up with farm animals and I've never done manual labor, so yeah. I gave him a quick hand massage. "Do you think my hands would feel rough on your body?", he asked. Awkward again. Then he started falling asleep. I was also very tired. He didn't want to leave though. I just kept reminding him he was tired and that he needed to get up early. Finally he got out of my car and I gave him a hug. It was such a nice hug. He wasn't trying to love my body down or anything like Hugz. He just held me softly in his arms a little longer than I wanted him to, but it was nice.

2. Blocking off my airway.
Whenever Purtty Boi and I had sex, he would place is upper lip over my nostrils and press his face into mine. I never understood this. I couldn't breath. It's a move wrestlers do with their hands to try to cause their components to get winded quicker and lose energy. I suppose Purtty Boi could benefit in some way from me being winded. I mean, I could pass out and sleep through the rest of the horrible sex we were having. I don't know. Anyway, the last time we had sex, he stopped and said "You don't seem to be enjoying this." What do you say to that? Why even make a comment like that? If you know the other person isn't having fun, then try something different or just stop. I just said, "Really?" I couldn't help but think that maybe if he wasn't such a pretentious little prick I would be enjoying myself more. Then he yelled at me for putting my legs down. Now see that's a definite sign that you should just stop and make way to the nearest exist. But we just kept going. I laid there like a turtle flipped on it's back, legs held in the air, hoping someone will have mercy on me and end my struggle. He covered my nose with his lip and pressed hard. I prayed to pass out.

Well I don't have to worry about him anymore. Purtty Boi is gone. I knew it was coming. He came by yesterday without calling. I was home alone, but I was in the bathroom and practically naked. So I didn't answer. I didn't know who it was. I looked out the window as he was getting into his aunt's car. I threw on a t-shirt and some workout pants and thought about running out to call him back, but I changed my mind and just watched him drive away. You can't just stop by unexpected. I never answer my door when I don't know who's out there. I don't even look out the peep hole because people can always see when you look out the peephole. I tried it once in middle school. It was late in the evening, dark outside and the doorbell of my parents townhome rang. I was the only one downstairs to answer it, but I didn't plan on opening the door. The doorbell rang again and then a knock and then, "Hello!". I tip-toed over to the door and looked out the peephole. "I know someone's in there!" I ran away. That was the last time I looked through a peephole when I wasn't expecting a guest.

3. Drowning me in alcoholAnway, I sent Purtty Boi a message asking him to come back and to call me. While waiting for him to get a clue, I called a guy that I went out with last weekend. His name will be Undercover Brother. I met Undercover Brother on myspace. This is number 4 right? Undercover is a 36 year old medical equipment inspector. He has an engineering degree. He looks like Dave Chapelle except lighter and shorter, but after a few drinks more like Kenny Lattimore. Last weekend I called him for the first time on that Friday night. He asked me what I was doing. I said nothing. He asked why. I said no money. He offered to take me out clubbing and pay for my drinks. So of course, I went with him. I drove to his apartment, we watched a little bit of a movie and then went out. We had the best time. But he's a horn dog though, real talk.

The first club we went to he bought me two shots and a drink of Royal flush. We started dancing. I hadn't even gotten close to him, but when I did he already had a boner. I was like, come on dude, we just got started. We left that club, because there were about 20 people there. The next venue was packed. At this place he bought me a Blue Motorcycle and proclaimed "I don't like to drink alone" as he started his second beer of the night. His two beers to my now 4 drinks? I think I was a head of him a bit. We danced the night away. I was drunk, but he insisted once again that he couldn't drink alone and bought me another Blue Motorcycle. So by the time we left the club, I was hammered. The last time I was that drunk was last summer, when I went to the club for the first time in like 4-5 years. I promised myself I wouldn't do that again. But here I was once again. I was so out of it, I walked barefoot to the parking garage, while Undercover carried my shoes.

On the way to his apartment I was naming all the buildings on the street although I couldn't focus enough to actually see what the establishments really were. I just guessed. Undercover just laughed at me. LOL! I don't know how I got back up to his apartment. But I do remember sitting on his couch and him massaging my feet. Then I started getting the aura I get before a migraine. So I asked for something for a headache and he gave me some Advil. I took that then somehow I ended up on the floor. He picked me up. Then I started naming everything in his house. The vacuum cleaner, the fan, his briefcase. Then I took off my clothes and got in the bed, I think. I honestly don't remember taking them off. Anyway, he kissed me, but then I felt nauseous so he got the trash can to put next to the bed. But there was still trash in it. I was like well if I'm have trouble throwing up, I'm sure the smell of old trash will help relieve me. So he put in a fresh trash bag. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning I threw up. Then I read some of a coffee table book about the history of Hip-Hop. Then he took me to breakfast. Then we watched some DVD's and an ACC game and then I went home. He wanted me to come back over that night, but I was like whatev! I was still hungover and the migraine that wanted to develop the night before, finally came. So I talked to him on that Sunday and we made plans to get together this weekend.

4. Suffocating me with insults and lies
Last night I called Undercover while waiting for Purtty Boi to get back to me. He was about to eat dinner and he invited me to eat with him. I packed an overnight bag. I decided at that point that I would spend the night and I might even fuck him. I packed some condoms in my bag just in case. I arrived at Undercover's house and as he was preparing my plate, my phone rang. I wasn't gonna answer at first and I shouldn't have because I knew it was Purtty Boi. But I answered anyway. He was angry with me. "Why didn't you answer your door? I saw you looking out the window when I left." I explained and apologized. "I don't believe you. You had a dude in there with you." Then he hung up. Okay?! I excused myself outside and called Purtty Boi back. I explained again to him what happened. I let him know I had no reason to lie, cause he's not my man. I asked him, "Don't I tell you everything?" "I don't believe anything you say. It goes in one ear and out the other.", he argued. I was so confused.

Then he planted the bomb. "Oh yeah, my ex girlfriend. The one that was down here with me. She is pregnant. I'm gonna be a father." I wanted to say, "Now I don't believe you.", but I just said "Well congratualtions. Is she coming down here or are you moving back there?" "She's coming back with me after I go up there." Every sentence after that began with "Oh Yeah,..." as he went on to reveal all of my personality flaws and explain how, even though he thinks I'm sexy, I have a horrible personality. He gave me advice on life and love claiming, "I'm just trying to help you." I wanted out of this conversation so I started trying to get off the phone. He said, "What's wrong? You sound like you are going to cry." I let him know that I definitely wasn't about to cry and I was dissapointed that he felt this way about me. He proclaimed, "I'm a cold person. I have no feelings." Then he said, "well my girlfriend doesn't like me to talk to other girls, so I guess this is the last time we'll talk." No kidding! He went on, "But I'm not gonna erase you from my friends. You can email me. Just don't leave any comments or I'll have to erase them." Goody Gum Drops! We're still best buds. I said, "Yeah okay."

Then (here comes the crazy part) he says, "I bought some new Dolce & Gabana reading glasses today." WTF?! As if I care!. Then he started talking about this girl he met at GED school. Some little 18 year old. "She's hot. If you saw me with her, you'd be like 'why's he talking to me?' I wondered that myself. These guys came up and asked if that was my girl. I was like no and then she tried to sit in my lap and kiss me." What the hell?! I looked at her myspace. She's cute, as in little girl cute. But that's how he likes 'em. And all she does is show off her array of false eyelashes and nails. Those flunkies can have each other! I interrupted his boastful soliloquoy, "I have to go." He said, "Yeah okay." and hung up. I just wanted to laugh at him. He sounded like Papi. Here was Papi again to haunt me. Different face, different name, same person. But this time I was prepared. I knew this would happen and that's why I never bothered to get attached to Purtty Boi.

I don't believe him. His ex is either not pregnant at all or he's known for a while that she's pregnant. I asked him how far along she was and he was like 2 months! 2 months? That sounds pretty sketchy and arbitrary. I feel like if he really knew, it would be stated more like 8 weeks or 9 weeks or womething more exact. I wished I'd asked the due date. Because if this was real and she'd already been to the doctor, he'd have that info. But whatever, either way he doesn't want me around anymore. Even though he tried to be friendly at the end there, I really am not interested in talking to him anymore.

5. Strangulation
So back to Undercover. I apologized for being rude (one of my personality flaws), like Purtty Boi instructed me to do, crooked toothed imbecile. I ate and then we watched Smoking Aces. After that we went bowling. We played two games and he beat me twice. I'm a horrible bowler, but I did get one strike. So after bowling we made our way back to his apartment. I asked him if he wanted me to stay. Of course he did, so I retrieved my overnight bag from my car. Once inside I got ready for bed. I laid next to Undercover and he spooned me. Then he started kissing my neck alot and he worked his way down and found his pearl and I rejoiced at his discovery. It was great. How long has it been? Several months. It sounds stupid, but I actually thanked God for it. Now God maybe had nothing to do with it, but I still thanked him. We should thank him for all our blessing and Undercover certainly blessed me.

We continued to have sex. While I was riding him, Undercover stuck his thumb in my mouth. Honestly, I didn't really know why he did it. I can only assume now that this was his first attempt to block off my airway. It was kinda weird. So after I came again he flipped me on my back and pushed me to the edge of the bed so that my head was hanging over. This I assume was an attempt once again at somehow making me lose consciousness, since blood was rushing rapidly to my head. After a few minutes in this position he pulled me back, so that my entire skull was on the bed and started pounding away. And when he was climaxing, he wrapped his hand around my neck and started squeezing it. I could feel my eyes starting to bulge. Then I started to feel myself coming again. He squeezed my neck harder. I grabbed his wrist to try to pull his hand away. He didn't let go. Finally when he reached his peak, he let go and collapsed on top of me. How strange? I've heard of erotic asphyxiation, but how dare he assume that I would be into that. mmmm? I'm still absolutely blown away. It was mind boggling and mind blowing sex. Purtty Boi must be into the same thing. I don't know if I'm a fan yet. Undercover Brother is an Undercover Freak.

Now they say when you are about to die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. After my near death experience with Undercover, the last year of my life kept me awake another hour. As I laid there in the dark, trying to make out the outlines of the trees through the cracks in the miniblinds, I wondered to my self if I really made the right decision leaving my boyfriend of 4 years. True love is hard to come by. I had someone who loved me despite all my flaws. I grew with him in those 4 years and now it was over. I threw it all away. Why? Up until last night I thought I'd understood the answer to that question. I'd done a pretty good job of explaining to everyone that we grew apart, our lives were leading in different directions, I felt he was too judgmental towards me, and I got tired of waiting for him to decide he wanted to marry me. Yes those reasons were apart of it. But ultimately I let him go because I thought there was something better out there, because I wanted someone different, because I thought that if I wasn't successful on my quest he would take me back easily. I wanted to have sex with Curve and try again with Jokes (ex and high school friend), but I messed up. I fucked up. I have found that there is nothing better than unconditional love and having someone who has your back all the way. There is nothing better than knowing that when you are down, your joy is just a phone call away. There is nothing like having someone think you are beautiful, even when you feel ugly. There is nothing like having someone who knows you better than you know yourself, to get you back on track. Someone who is always there. He was a constant for me. That constant is gone and it's been difficult navigating without him, without what he was to me. I wonder if I was any of those things for him.

Well one day I'll get that back. Not my ex, but everything he was. I just have to believe it. And I'll love him and only him and I'll never let him go.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I'm okay

Spring Break is over. My laptop is dead. I have lots of work. But I'll be posting a new blog entry this weekend. Thanks for checking in!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Mi Nuh Fraid

Purtty Boi AIM'd me yesterday. I was surprised. I would have thought he was busy begging his girlfriend to take him back. So he came over. He went straight for my computer. He doesn't even ask. He just goes right over and starts checking his myspace. Then he was like "This is why your computer is so slow. Look at all these pictures." So I'm thinking, "Why the hell do you think it's okay to be all up in my pictures?" Then he made me erase a bunch of them. It was actually good, because I was holding on to pictures I really didn't need. So he helped me. Fine.

So after he finished checking his myspace, snooping around my computer, and yelling at me for keeping old pictures and asking him too many questions, he looked up at me and smiled at me with his crooked boyish grin. So cute. I smiled back at him. Then he was like lets watch a movie. We put one on, but of course we didn't watch. I gave him some vitamin H instead.

Today he changed his profile song to this song called "Replacement Girl" by Drake feat. Trey Songs. That made me happy! Purtty Boi, he gwan luv me! LOL!

I am currently talking to Flip on the phone. He is too country. He sounds like Tyler Perry playing Madea. He just said immurn. He is trying to say immune. I can't take it. This won't work.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

National Piss Me the Fuck Off Week!

So clearly I have mood instability issues. Last week I was depressed. This week I'm angry. Waiting for the week I'll be happy again. A whole week. Not just a few days but a whole week.

So Purtty Boi is trying to get back with his girlfriend. What the fuck? He changed the song on his myspace to this I miss you, I want you back, Please forgive me girl song. He commented on his ex's page "I miss you princess. I love you. blah blah blah, wa wa wa!" She's gonna take him back of course. The only thing that may keep her from taking him back is that he hit her during their fight and when she threatened to call the police, he told her to go ahead because if she did he would beat her ass until they got there. What kinda shit is that? Anyway, she took down the picture of them kissing. I think she suspected something was going on between me and him, because he erased the comment I left on his page. This reminds me of someone???? MMM??? Oh yeah Papi!!! Piss Asses! Purtty's a virgo too and into music and into himself. Papi's thing was "I'm a Legend". Purtty's thing is "I'm rich. My family is rich. I never have to work." Shut the hell up. Are you sharing this money? No? Oh then shut the hell up, cause I could care less. He came to my house on Monday talking all that shit. I was thinking to myself, why the fuck are you even here? Then he started showing me pictures of all his exgirlfriends on myspace. Most of them were 18. He is 23. So I'm wondering when the hell could he have dated all these 18 year olds. He dated one when she was 13 years old. He would have been 18. What the hell? Then he's like, "I could have had a child" Really? "This ex here had a miscarriage." UHMM! I really didn't understand why he was sharing all of this. All his ex girlfriends are these exotic beauties with mixed ethnicities. So I was wondering if he just wants to brag about the beautiful women he's laid, or if he's like my girlfriends look better than you, or if he's like I've had girls just as beautiful as you. I don't know. All I know is that right now I'm kinda disgusted by him, with his fucked up teeth. LOL! First I thought they were cute, but now I'm thinking with all the money in your family, you shoulda been had them fixed!

I knew this would happen. I don't even want him for my man. I don't know why it pisses me off so much. She'll probably move back down here and I'll never hear from him again. I wonder if he wants his DVD's back. He has two of mine. I do want those back. I would kick his skinny little ass but he's a black belt in something, supposedly. So that wouldn't be a good idea. Das Weiner could do it for me!

I think I might be pissed because I hate adding uneccessary men to my list of men I've slept with. I like men to stick around for a little while and have a little meaning in my life. I'm not into "One night stands". I also am disgusted by his total disregard for my feelings. I am a real person ya know. I may have had sex with you without discretion, but I'm not a simple whore.

Other things have happened to make me angry, but I don't talk about personal stuff up here. LOL! personal stuff??!!

Anyway, Flip is really trying hard to get me to be his girlfriend. Everytime we talk it's like "I can't stop thinking about you. Do you feel the same way? Do you see yourself being by girlfriend? I think we could possibly get married oneday?" The weird thing is that I am starting to feel the same way he is. Not totally. I don't think about him constantly, because I have too many other things to think about. But with all the horrible luck I've had with men, it's nice to be with someone who is really actually into me and hasn't even held my hand or kissed me yet. Gosh. He bought me another gift. Isn't that sweet? He's like a sugar daddy, but young. I could be happy with him. He appreciates me for me and sees me the way I wish I could always see myself. Flip just can sound so gay on the phone and he has a cheesy smile. I listened to his music. He raps. And he sounds nothing like himself. It actually kinda turned me own almost. I sang for him, a song I made up to a Papi Chulo beat. He loved it. He's like, yeah we can produce some music together. Yea!!! I actually can't wait for him to get back from his job in Georgia so we can go out again and get to know each other and make music. Yuck, I might really be starting to like him. This is scary. Real feelings might develop. Am I ready for this? Not sure.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

L7 vs Hood

I went on my date with Flip last night at 3:00 am. He picked me up at my apartment. He drives a pick up truck, Country boy. I jumped in his truck, hoping I wouldn't be horrified by what I saw and I wasn't. He actually looks way better in person. He's brown skinned, 6ft, average build. Kinda chubby in the face, epicanthal folds in his eyelids, and an innocent smile, which all softened his look a bit. Jay-Z is still cuter though. LOL! We went to a 24 hr grill place downtown. Before we got out the car, he gave me my gift. It was a little glass sculpture of a hummingbird and flower, like the ones at the convenience store. I guess that's where he got it on his road trip. It's very beautiful. So we had nice convo over 4th meal. That's any meal after dinner. He grew up slopping hogs and tending to the chickens. He likes riding 4 wheelers and fishing. Again, Country boy! After 4th meal, Flip drove me home and we made plans to go fishing today. We didn't hug or kiss or nothing. Nice change of pace.

We never went fishing today though. He said he would call me after 1, but he didn't call until after 6. I called him back around 8. He said he was going to cook some Chicken Pastry. What the hell is that? I'll tell you in a minute. I told him I was "going out" and would call him later. I really don't enjoy talking to him on the phone that much. His country accent is so heavy, I can't understand him most of the time. Sorta like that dude on the adult cartoon "King of the Hill". Also, Flip sounds a little sweet, if you know what I mean. Effeminate. In person, he's all man, and I can understand his speech better. So after I finished "going out" I called him back and I asked if he made his Chicken Pastry and I asked him what it was. He said some people call it "Chicken Pot Pie" Some people? No, that's what everyone calls it. Chicken Pastry? That's something you made up. I just wanted to laugh a him, but I didn't. We talked a little more and then I told him I'd call him back after I got ready for bed. He didn't answer though, probably fell asleep.

Flip is my L7 (square) boy, because he's so country and a big softy. Even though he looks all hard on his pictures and he's got lots of hustles, he's a good guy. We will never have sex. I can just tell. We probably won't kiss. He doesn't look like much of a kisser, anyway. But they say you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. You definitely can't judge by a myspace page.

I ended up "going out" with the other new guy I met on myspace today. He turned out to be really cool. He's fine! Straight Pretty Boy! Sexy Trinidadian Accent. I have to give him a nickname. Purtty Boi!

Around 1:30 pm, Purtty Boi called me on his way to the DMV near my apartment, to let me know he was coming out my way and wanted to see me. I started getting ready. He called me again and said to meet him at the bar in the laundromat next to the DMV. He'd be wearing a red sweat shirt. I'd passed that laundromat several times and had no idea there was a bar inside. How odd. So I get there and I see this cute skinny lightskinned guy, with a slicked down ceasar, looking really fly in his fresh white Nikes. And I thought to myself "This ain't gonna work. He's such a pretty boy and pretty boys don't really go for me much." He was playing pool with some Korean guys. He smiled and gave me a hug and checked me out. I couldn't tell yet if he liked what he saw. I could tell he had some really crooked teeth. But they were crooked in a cute way. I know that sounds silly, but sometimes cute guys have crooked teeth that just give their face more character, rather than distract from their cuteness. Like Chris Brown for instance. His teeth are clearly crooked and he has a lisp, but it all works together to enhance his cuteness. I don't know.

So he asked me if I wanted anything and bought me a Corona (the only beer I can tolerate the taste of). I watched him play a couple of rounds of pool. In between shots he talked to me, while puffing on his cigarettes. Yeah, he smokes. I'm not too into that. Flow smokes, but at least this guy is young and kinda just starting out. So it's not so bad. He'll stop if he hangs with me. Or I'll get lung cancer.

Anyway, We had pretty good convo. He let me play with his sidekick phone. Then he invited me to his house to meet his Aunt, who he lives with, and her boyfriend. So by then I was thinking maybe he actually likes me. We went to their home and ate lunch/dinner. His aunt speaks spanish and english and she is very cool. He said she'll get me drunk one day. Interesting. Then we went to his room and that's where things got really interesting.

We were watching the horror movie "Pulse" and then he started kissing me on the cheek and trying to tickle me and silly stuff like that. I was like "okay??? I like just met you yo", in my head. Then he was like "Want to know a secret?" I was like yeah. "Guess what it is.", he grinned. I guessed a bunch of crazy stuff, like you are going to kill me, you have an extra toe. He said, "No it's something I like about you." I guessed a few things, which were all correct, but wasn't what he was looking for. He finally pointed to my lips. I was like, "Oh you want to kiss me?" He was like yeah. I said "I know". So I let him kiss me. And I let him kiss me again and again and again. And he was like "Oh let me find out you can kiss."

So we continued to watch the rest of the movie. After it ended, Purtty Boi turned on some Reggae music. Then he asked me if I was shy. I said yeah. "So I have to be the aggressor?" he asked. I said "Usually." He was like I can handle that. And he certainly did. We kissed some more and he started grinding on me. Then I started imagining how good his sex would be and I got really lost in my head and I was like, "Woah" and I pushed him away a bit, cause I was getting too turned on. He said "What? Am I turning you on?" I confirmed his assumption. "Well if I'm turning you on that means you're turning me on so that's a good thing. Don't worry about it." I wasn't sure I wanted to go there yet. But we kept going! The clothes started coming off and the hands started touching naked body parts. Purtty Boi's good with his hands. I love it when a guy knows what to do with his hands down there. So we kept going. He asked me to go down on him. Something I really can't resist and he asked so politely. LOL! Yeah I'm so into that. I love it. I hate to admit it, but I love fellatio. It's like my favorite thing to do sexually. Does that make me crazy?

So we kept going and the next thing I knew, we were doing it in his bed to some Reaggaeton. He was on top the whole time. He came. Then we went back to my apartment and had sex to the movie "Friday". This time we started out doggy style. He wanted me to come. But I didn't, that's like a difficult thing most of the time. That's my favorite position and I usually achieve climax in that position if it's gonna happen. Then he went back on top again, but we didn't finish. He went soft on me. MMMM? I hate when that happens. I don't know why it happened. And I think he was embarassed, but I was more embarassed cause of course I feel like it was my fault. And maybe it was. I'm not sure I'll ever know.

At any rate, he has a nice size penis. Bigger than what I believe to be average. He's in between Flow and Radio with his. But he curves like Das Weiner. The sex? Regular. Not what I was imagining when he was pushing up on me earlier. Maybe I should teach him how to make love to me, but I've never had to do that before. I'm trying to think of ways. I mean I think about how Curve does it. He likes to stay on his knees. Flow likes to be sideways. Papi liked it best when I was sideways. I probably should have been more aggressive and just gotten on top. Honestly, I hate being on top. I'm too self-conscious for that. I want it to look good, so that's what I think about, rather that if it feels good. But most men love it. So it's something I try to get over and just do. I think that was Papi's fustration with me. So maybe Purtty Boi and I can teach each other a few things.

So Purtty Boi is my hood boi cause he's from NY. He lived in the hood, Brooklyn and Queens, sold coke, threw parties, made money, and spent money. He's a name brand junkie. He makes raggae beats and is a good chatter, genious chatter off the top of his head. On the way back to his house, he said we could make music together and see if we can get studio time or something. I was suprised he actually still wanted to chill with me after the failed second attempt at sex. Good though! I'm kinda excited, but we'll see what happens. He just broke up with his girlfriend and she even called him while were together. She called from one of his friend's phones. When he realized it was her and not his friend, he hung up on her. They most likely will get back together, in my opinion. She actually came down here with him and was going to stay, but they got in a horrible fight and she went on back up to NY. Reminds me of Papi's situation when we first started out, big time. History may repeat itself, but I hope not. Maybe his west inidianess will make him less of a jerk than Papi was.

So who do I like better? It's really hard to say. I definitely like hanging out with my hood boi the best. I think we would have the most fun clubbing, bar hopping, making music, etc. I already invited him out with me and my girls next weekend. I know my L7 is always gonna treat me right and hold me up in the romance department. He is easy to take advantage of, something I wouldn't feel comfortable doing, unless I felt like he owed me. So at this point, I can't tell who will end up sticking around. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say Flip, my L7 boy.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Feeling Better

It's good knowing people who know you. If you ever feel lost, they can help you find yourself. I'm feeling much better.

Right now, I'm about to go out on a date with this 29 yo music producer/entrepreneur I just started talking to this week. It's kinda late to be going out but he just got back in town and he's hungry. I met him on myspace. He's a nice guy, really funny, great personality. He's not really my type as far as looks though. Little like Jay Z, but I actually think Jay-Z is cuter if that's possible. Really Jay-Z was never ugly to me. I was crushing on him before Beyonce was in the picture. Anyway, I'm hoping he looks better in person. I feel kinda bad cause he already offered to wire me some money and he bought me a gift on his way back home. He's just doing alot and we haven't even met. I know I'm worth it, but how does he know so soon. Well, I'll try not to lead him on. If he's scary looking in person, it's not gonna work. I really can't pretend to be attracted to someone, even if they cash me up. Also he has a gum phobia. He's like seriously afraid of chewing gum or bubble gum. He gets nauseous just looking at it. I chew gum all the time. So this meeting in person thing does not look a promising situation, but we'll see. I have to think of a nickname for him. It will take a minute.

Papi Alert!!! I went to the police department the other day to get a copy of the police report Papi claimed to have filed against me after I exposed my blog to his groupies/girlfriends. I got curious about what he wrote about me. I mean if there is some official public document out there with details about me, I want to read it. There was no report. Can you believe it? That dummy lied. I want to kick him in the shin for that. He is such a loser. I think he has two girlfriends now. How does he do it. It boggles me. I guess music producers just get alot of ass. If you look famous and like you got money then you can get whatever you want. Helps to be cute too. That's Papi Chulo aka Unfamous Producer, Infamous Womanizer.

Skittles keeps texting me instead of calling. Like what are you doing? I guess he wants me to know he's thinking about me, but doesn't feel like talking. Fine. Thanks.

Met another new guy on Myspace tonight. He actually lives right down the street from me. Scary! Little too close for comfort. He's cute though. He's funny too and not on purpose. He wrote me a bunch of emails. I guess I was taking too long to answer and he got anxious. He was really quick to tell me his bio: He was born in Trinidad, he's black, indian, and spanish, and the rest was more than I really needed to know for just meeting someone. His ex girlfriend is his top friend and her profile pic is of them kissing. I asked him if she still loves him. He said "I guess." Strange! Anyway, he's younger which explains his eagerness. He let me know that he is going to the DMV tomorrow, which is a block away from where I live. I gave him my number. I really don't think we'll get along. He's a Virgo and clearly I haven't had luck with Virgos, ie: Papi Chulo and Flow.

Das Weiner is coming here at the end of April, instead of me coming there. I'm looking forward to that! YEA!!! We are gonna have so much fun!!!! I told him about Papi and he said he's gonna beat him up. He probably would too, but I told him not to worry about it. But that would be hilarious!

Curve sent me a cd through Itunes, Gnarles Barkley's first cd, to cheer me up. He's always looking out for me. That's why I love him! He says one of the songs reminds him of us. I have to figure out which one. I'll do that while I wait for Flip to call me for our date that I don't think is gonna happen anymore, cause I'm sleepy. That's gonna be his nickname, Flip. Cause he says he flip that money 7 ways!