Tuesday, April 1, 2008


I forgot how fun it was to fall in love with someone. I just wish he wasn't so far away. Things are going great with Skittles. We haven't run out of things to talk about yet. I like him more and more everyday. He's come into my life at the perfect time. He's been patient and understanding. He really cares about me, deeply. It's been wonderful. Skittles is coming to see me at the end of the month instead of this weekend. It's a better time for me academically and "femininely".

I told Das Weiner about Skittles. He was not happy. He couldn't even talk to me. He said he'd call me back but never did. I hope he's okay. The simple truth is that Das Weiner could have easily made me his girl if he wanted me to be. He had the opportunity but he missed it again. I feel bad for him. I know how it feels. But I didn't expect to fall in love with Skittles and I'm not gonna sit at home for a guy who's not sure he wants to be with me right now.

I went to see a therapist today about my depression. I start therapy next week. It's been a long time coming if you ask me. I've had problems with depression before. But I would always get over it. This time was alot worse than others. For the first time in my life I seriously considered harming myself. I wanted to get help a few weeks ago, but I didn't go until today. I'm glad to finally get help for it. My niece and my cousin both have mood disorders, so I think it runs in may run in my family. My family tends to deny things, so it's difficult to know if others have had mental problems. I think we always use our faith to get through. My mom has been telling me just pray and God will help you. But what if you don't even feel like praying. And if God is omnicient, he should know how I feel and what I need. He's not oblivious, right. Well I'm not gonna wait to feel like praying. I'm just going to get the help I need.

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