Tuesday, April 15, 2008


My mother called on Saturday. She asked if I wanted her and my dad to come visit. I said no, maybe another weekend. Despite my pleadings for them to stay home, they came on Sunday anyway. It's not that I didn't want them to visit. I just didn't want them staring at me and having a prayer circle around me like I'm some misfortunate soul. But it wasn't so bad, I got in a few laughs. Then my mother asked me to call my brother. I haven't talked to him since January, because I don't want him getting on me and I feel bad for not keeping in contact. I told her I would email him, but that wasn't enough for her. She just kept begging me and trying to make me feel guilty about it. Then she said if I didn't want to talk to him about anything, I could just say so. She tried to act like I could do that with anyone in the family. That's not true. I've tried it before, and whatever I don't want to talk about enters the conversation over and over until I give in. She was bringing me down, and when she saw that, she didn't want to leave. I told her she was trying to do too much at once and we need to take it Bird by Bird. I told her the story about the little boy who had to do a project on birds. He waited until the night before to start. He sat at the kitchen table and spread out all the books he had on different types of birds. He looked up at his dad overwhelmed, "How am I going to get through all these books?" His dad told him, "Son, just take it bird by bird." I don't know where that story is from, but my professor told the class this story. My mom understood and dropped it. I slapped a smile on my face and sent my parents on their way. I called Skittles right after they left. Then my mom interrupted the call to ask why I din't look through the blinds when they left. Ugh!

Skittles and I have moved to Video Calls over the net. It's nice to be able to look at each other while we talk. Sunday night, I just wanted to fall asleep staring at him, but we couldn't get any sleep that way. He is coming this Friday, and I can't wait to see him. I've fallen for him big time.

Sugar Daddy texted me today. At first I had no idea who it was. He'd changed his number. He asked how I was doing and said he really missed me. I don't get that? I didn't text back right away. Then I got 2 calls from a restriced number I figured was him. So I texted back that I was fine and that I was involved with someone who cared about me deeply and that I was happy. He texted back: "Congrats let me know if I can do anything to help." I don't need his help.

I've gotten calls from Flip, Flow, and Radio. I didn't answer any of them. I wrote Undercover an email apologizing for igging him. I started to feel bad, since we had sex and all. He hasn't even read it yet.

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