So last night on The Game, Melaney planned a threesome for her husband Derwin. Now Neptune is fixated on this idea of a menage a trois. I'm not a threesome type of chick. The closest I got was giving head to Radio while my cousin made out with him. But I don't mess with girls like that. It's a line I don't really want to cross. Sure I've thought about it. There have been times when I even thought I might go for it, but it just seems so amoral. Sex between a man and woman is intimate and sacred but when you start adding extra people or toys, it makes it...weird. I don't think God is pleased with half the stuff I do, but I think a threesome would really make him angry and I don't need that in my life right now. Not with all the BS going on. Neptune thinks it would be so great, but he would have to catch me on a good night. He found this porn star on craigslist who's in town for the night and he wants to pay $300 to sleep with her. What a joke? He is such a sex addict, it's ridiculous. I can't even be mad at him for all this because I know what kind of person he is. But still I manage to feel sad about it. Stupid emotions!!! LOL!!!
Neptune is starting to remind me of Papi Chulo. All in to me until something better comes along. Wants me close, but keeps me at a distance. Make me feel so alone, when I have him. Papi sent me in a downward spiral, but I'm not going down like that again.
I haven't talked to Lucky at all since Friday night. He's a nice guy but I'm not really into him as much as I'm into Neptune. It's sad, cause Lucky would probably be better for me on a character level. If Lucky did something to surprise me and make me feel special, I could be persuaded to devote myself to him.